Where does the fruit grow on plum trees and sweet cherry trees?* (5 years)
I don't know the answers, because I have never grown those trees.
Which two trees should you not eat if you are allergic to poison ivy?
The American buckeye. The Japanese stinking rose.
Trees don't get boring. They don't stop growing when we do. In the spring they sprout. In the summer they grow. In the fall they blossom. In the winter they turn bare and look like that. They don't shut up, do they?
If I take some seedlings from my seedling pot and plant them outdoors under the tomatoes, will they still be tomatoes?
The answer is in the seed packet. Don't plant them until the ground has been hardened by frost. Then you will have to wait another year before they will flower.
Why don't you ever have enough trees?
Because they grow quickly, taking over the whole backyard.
How long will a row of blueberry plants take to produce berries?
About six months.
I had a white dog. His name was Popcorn. He was a very handsome dog. All of his fur was white, except his ears. But I didn't care. The last day I ever saw him, he was lying on my lap. And his ears were scratched. Why was he scratching his ears?
Because they were so white, they were more like ear muffs. They gave him a bit of protection from the heat.
What is not good for an apple tree?
* and*Why do I like cooking with chocolate?
Because it has such a lovely taste.
Why are old kitchens called haunted houses?
Because everything in them is haunted.
Where do dogs go to when they die?
In the deep, deep ocean.
Why is spaghetti spicy?
Because it's a very heavy protein that needs a lot of energy to digest it.
* and*What is the best time to plant onions?
Not until the ground is frozen, because it takes six months before they start to produce.
How did a parrot get its name?
The parrot family has a head on top of its body that can turn from side to side, up and down and side to side, very fast. And the Spanish used to call them señoras parejas de mundo, ladies of the world.
What do you call a woodpecker that has wings?
A flying woodpecker.
Why do you put bread in the oven when it is baking?
Because it tastes better with bread.
Which orange do you get from a Bartlett?
Why are paprika sprinkles red?
Because they are dyed with food colorings.
What is the difference between a red and a pink watermelon?
A red one tastes like a watermelon.
How do you get a piece of lettuce to taste like it is freshly cut?
Put it in the refrigerator.
* and*How many yellow parts are there in an orange?
* and*If you bought a magnum of champagne, and your friend called it champagne and you didn't like it, and your friend didn't like it, what would you call it?
I would call it champagne that didn't taste like champagne.
Why do you call a speck of sawdust a splinter?
It is because they are like needles.
Why don't you bury food in the refrigerator?
Because it smells bad.
* and*Why do you keep bread in the breadbox?
Because it gets stale faster there.
How many holes do bullets make in soft, waxy paper?
How do you know when wine is old?
When it tastes bad.
Why do you keep fruit on the counter?
Because it stays fresher.
What does a house smell like when it is being sold?
* and*How did the railroad get its name?
They used to build a railroad to the top of the mountains, right over the edge of the earth.
Why do you have to cook a steak on the day that it is to be eaten?
Because it tastes better if it is cooked when it is hot.
Why do you call the dog after a meat that's just finished cooking?
It's called on the bone.
What makes the first ants of the year so important?
They have such a good brain.
What do you call the particles that fall to the bottom of the glass?
The class of things that will not fall back into the glass.
Why do you leave the front door open when the dog goes out?
Because he will not bother it when he is on the other side.
Why is the soil in your garden black?
Because that is the color of the ground.
Why do you pour hot water on clothes before you put them in the dryer?
Because the hot water will take some of the wrinkles out.
How long does sugar take to dissolve?
A long time.
* and*Why does an ice cream soda taste better when it is cold?
Because the ice cream in the soda has dissolved.
Why is a croissant like a swan?
It was meant to be bread for a chicken.
If you stand on the edge of a cliff, how can you fall over the edge?
Because you have to be holding onto something.
Why do you call a small cat a kitten?
Because it's an infant.
Why do you call a living person a living thing?
Because it is not dead yet.
* and*If you see a bird that has broken a wing, is it okay to go